I am trapped .
In a shallow pit .
I could get out if I wanted to .
And I should want to .
But somehow, I cannot .

This wasn’t a pit to begin with .
It was a sinkhole .
It plunged into darkness.
Everything avoided it.
The light.
The warmth.
The air.
But somehow, I did not.

It was blacker than any night I’d spent awake.
It was colder than any blade that had grazed my skin.
It was emptier than the plates of food I’d flushed down the toilet.
It was hopeless.
It was joyless.
Escape should have been impossible.
But somehow, it was not.

I used my fingers.
I used my teeth.
I used my voice and made my throat bleed.
I clawed my way up.
Up the cold slimy walls.
Until the blood ran down my arms and into my mouth.
I should have stopped .
I should have fallen .
But somehow, I did not.

Now the light is just a breath away.
My fingertips yearn for the warmth.
But my body is torn.
And my mind is broken.
And the air is thick
With the smell of my trials.
I should rest for a while.
I deserve it.
To close my eyes and dream to be free.
But somehow, I cannot.

You see,
When I shut my eyes,
The darkness envelops me,
And the feeling of sinking
Back into hell,
Back into hopelessness,
Clouds my senses.

I should be able to fight it
For a few minutes more.
For surely, how do ten minutes compare
To two years of desolation?
But somehow,
Somehow

They do.